Ascend beard of Arabia! Ascend!
As the only member on the team with a beard as unruly as the Arab Springs (I can say that because I'm arab) and in dire need of freedom from the riots of tangles in my beard I sought out foreign aid and needed freedom! My prayers were answered when this care package finally arrived at my work - it was like an iron fist was installed into power to control my beard, not through fear, but love and affection. The beautiful, sweet scent in the balm drowned away the smell of smoke and fire, the smoothness and moisture the oil (and balm) provided to my hair to repair the rubble and ruin which was my beard, and the way the balm (which has beeswax for shaping) allows me to sculpture my beard into the way I see fit. I am no longer an angry Arab, but now, an infamous bearded Arab hipster, with an amazing smelling beard, sculpted to perfection. I think we found the cure for peace in the middle east!
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